Our Pillar of Strength

~ Mom's Journal ~

My daughter said if I were to have a pet, it would be the ants. Well, that is one aspect that she remembers about me. My mind started thinking about my parents. Their love and sacrifices, guidance and protection and all other acts of kindness will forever remain in my heart. While a mother is more approachable due to her gentle disposition, a father normally looks upon as a disciplinarian. With some sharing of memories with my sisters I would like to write a little bit about my father. Our father, Our Pillar of Strength.

This is a photo of our late father during one of the days when he went outstation.

1963: Our father in Seremban

During childhood, I remember the time when our father sent all of us to different schools. Yes, he allowed us to choose whether we wanted to attend the Malay or the English medium schools. He would then wake up early to ensure that we reached schools well before the bell rang. If any one of us was taken ill, normally due to fever, he would come and checked to see whether we have taken our medication. He would gently press our forehead to relieve the headache that accompanied the fever. He did not say much but we knew he cares. He then proceeded to send the others to schools.

We stayed at a few houses one of which is the house at Hill Road.  The houses here have a similar design. They are old bungalow houses with central entrance doorway. There are verandahs on both floors and many windows to provide a good ventilation.

The house at Hill Road

Sometimes a house was left unoccupied.

Then it underwent restoration and became a museum! This is the Muzium Warisan Sejarah Kuala Lipis which was opened in 2011. The Hill Road is now known as Jalan Bukit Bius.

Muzium Warisan Sejarah Kuala Lipis

Ok a small trivia on one house at Hill Road. Please allow me to go back to our schooldays. Our house was about 2km from schools. There was no school bus in the 1960s, only public transport or walked to school. Our father diligently sent us to school rain or shine. Education was very important to him. When school time was over he fetched all of us then only he proceeded to have his lunch and went back to the office to attend to his work. He drove a car of the Peugeot or the Ford brand.

Old faithful Ford Cortina

Our father came to Kuala Lipis in the 1948. During school holidays we get to go back to our kampong in Kerdau, Temerloh. We would go to our grandmother’s house at Kampong Paya Rambai. Sometimes she took us to visit our cousin at Kampong Panchor where our father used to live. I remember my sister would walk delicately on the wooden Paya Taram bridge especially when the paddy fields were flooded with water. 

The Paya Taram bridge

Towards the end of school holidays, we would travel back to Kuala Lipis by train. It was always a happy sight to see our father’s smile as we get off the train.

As we girls became teenagers we would read storybooks like the one below:

Barbara Cartland paperback books

Our father would just smile and told us it was ok to read them to familiarize ourselves with the English language. He noticed that we read other types of story books too. Okay… I know we read comics like “Beano” and “Dandy” and the satirical “Mad magazine” but I could not remember what other types of story books that we read. It certainly was not the version of the Twilight series or the Harry Potter fantasy series. Perhaps our father also noticed that we need a more diversified reading materials. He always made available the New Straits Times newspaper to encourage us to read more serious stuff that happened in and around the world.

Anyway, it was nice to lose ourselves in another era where the ladies wear beautiful Victorian gowns and the men handsomely attired in a gentleman’s suit. Although or because they had uncomplicated story lines we did not pay much attention to the stories.

We also read Malay novels like “Salina”, ‘Siti Nurbaya” and the popular book by Hamka,  “Dibawah Lindungan  Ka’bah”.

Hamka: Di Bawah Lindungan Ka'bah

As we grow older and a bit wiser we look at the title like “Journey to Paradise” from a different perspective. Gone are the naivety as a teenager. On its own, the title “ Dibawah Lindungan Ka'bah” also has a significant meaning. As we continue to live our lives we hope the journey taken by everyone will end well.

Incidentally, before the arrival of e-book and Mr. Google, parents would buy Encyclopedia for their children and grandchildren.

To continue where I left off, let’s move back to the 1960s and 1970s. When we left primary schools some of us went to the boarding schools. Apart from the 10ringgit monthly allowance provided by our schools, our father would also send to us a monthly allowance of 20ringgit. In his letter, he wrote the figure as 20ringgit but we can be sure to find small notes of 2 or 3ringgit on top of the 20. I remember he said, “Don’t give just enough, give a little bit more”.

Father in a pensive mood.

Much later as we graduated from the University, he would send a letter to congratulate us.

A letter from a father

Our father treated his children equally. It was alright if we did not perform well in our studies. We tried our best and ready to move on.

My sister, Halimah, recalled the following memories about our late father. We addressed our father as “Apak”, the short form for “Bapak” which means father. The term “Arwah” refers to someone who had passed away hence “Arwah Apak”. Back then it was also common to have nicknames for girls such as “Manja”, “Wok” or “Intan” which means beloved daughters.

Memories of days gone by….

When we resided at No. 91 Residency Hill, Kuala Lipis, our neighbours were of mixed races. Hence, I had Chinese friend name Han Sow Chan from the Han’s family, an Indian friend whom I called Charo @ Shanty, a Bengali friend (unfortunately I have forgotten what ‘Kaur’. However, I remember she had a brother name Darshan Singh. I wonder where they are all now...) Anyway, that made us a complete solidarity foursome.  We stayed in the same community, played together, and went to the same school.  Many a time my friends would request a lift to school, and each time too arwah apak would obliged, without a sigh, nor complaint. My beloved late father was so pure at heart. How I wished I could inherit his sincerity…(May Allah SWT bless his kind soul.)

During my school days, I was never a bright student. On one occasion I showed arwah apak my end-of-year examination result. Arwah apak looked, and while signing the report card, he commented:  banyak corak batik ni wok (my nickname). “Corak batik” meaning blue markings mixed with red markings thereby presenting  a ‘colourful’ impression. However, arwah’s tone was never filled with despair, nor anger. The wonder of apak, a very tolerant father…He knew, and very much aware of his this one particular daughter’s academic limit!

Upon completion of my secondary studies, I migrated to Kuantan, Pahang, leaving behind my beloved so-called ‘sleepy hollow’ hometown Kuala Lipis. I remember then, sitting in the back seat of the car, while driving arwah apak said; ‘Nanti, bila dah dapat kerja, JANGAN minta naik gaji. Terima je apa orang bagi.’ Basically, he advised me when I managed to get a job, DO NOT ask for an increase in salary. Just accept the amount given by the employer.

At that particular time, I had not the slightest inkling of what lies beyond the super visual statement. Only many, many years later, when my religious conscience got the better of me did I realized that that was TASAWUF. Believe only in Allah the Almighty, Al-Baasit (the Extender of Rizq), Al-Wahhab (the Giver of all things); and never to seek from fellow human. May Allah SWT bestowed His forgiveness and mercy, and reward arwah apak with His Jannah…ameen. 

My sister’s memories ran true to our father's concern for his children.

Times passes by. Our father would be happy to know that all of us had discharged our responsibilities reasonably well by providing decent education opportunities to all our children. Whenever possible we try to instill a sense of responsibility in our children by encouraging them to care for one another.

My eldest sister and her children

My niece and her parents, precious moments

My daughters

As we move on, we also remember that our father places a high value on time. He would teach us to be disciplined. For example, in his letter, he would gently informed us that a certain item or document had to reach him on time. He would use the phrase “on or before a specified date”.

A reminiscence

It is not possible to recall all memories. As aptly put by my eldest sister, Siti Halijah, old memories are fading slowly. We will, however, never forget our father’s love and kindness as he quietly let us go to build our own families. We certainly miss him and his du’a as he left us with “Salam doa dari ayahanda”.